Recently, I had an interesting thought I have been meditating upon. I think it is a serious issue for the home, children, and marriage. Most Christian parents train their children to be complainers. Many Christian husbands and wives train each other to be complainers. What is the difference between thanksgiving and complaining? You see carnal Christians (folks who are always negative and self-motivated) rarely focus on being thankful, yet the Bible commands it, and even says it is the will of God. I Thessalonians 5:18, In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. So………why is it that so many Christians are carnal, divisive, overly opinionated, chronic complainers? Answer, the lack of really focusing on being thankful. Effectively, they are chronically interested in their own selves (called carnality). Sadly, they do not understand their selfishness affects others (husband, wife, children).

Jesus spoke about the issue. Matthew 15:18, But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
Jesus said it is a heart issue and the person is defiled. Unthankful people have a heart issue, so they complain and are negative. Have you ever heard someone talk who is a complainer? The more they talk the worse it gets! They just get more and more negative!

Psalm 12:2, They speak vanity every one with his neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak.
What does God want? Psalm 19:14, Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

Generally, people who complain are unfaithful in their life to God. Why, because it is a heart issue. They justify their unfaithfulness and are negative about other people and even talk about the other person’s unfaithfulness when they are unreliable, undependable, and unfaithful themselves!
Proverbs 25:19, Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint.

The Bible tells us we can have no confidence in unfaithful people. It always causes pain!
Generally, a thankful person is a faithful person. They have a passion about hearing the Word of God and applying it to their lives. They are faithful to hear it preached and taught. They make every effort to do so. An unthankful-unfaithful person never sees the need they have and rationalizes their sin at the expense of others.

Hebrews 10:25-27, Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.

James 4:17, Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

Chronic complaining leads to unfaithfulness and rationalization which is sin. If you know you should be faithful and do not do so it is sin. It shows a life confused spiritually and out of fellowship with God.
A chronic complainer is always boasting about their spiritual life, which is not truly a spiritual life. James 4:16-17, But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. Always behind a complainer is a pride issue!
James 4:1-8, From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

A chronic complainer is the enemy of God! All you have to do is read the Old Testament and see what Israel’s complaining got for them!

A complainer is not a humble person! They consistently tell other people their complaints! They never stop to think what they are doing to people around them! Therefore, they train others around them to be a complainer. Your children watch and listen to you. When a child leaves the home of a complainer, and becomes an adult, they will complain about their parents to others no matter what the parent has positively done for them. In essence, they have taken your lead and others around them lead, to be a carnal, divisive, ungodly, UNTHAKFUL, unfaithful, non-Spirit controlled person! It takes no discipline in the life to complain, it takes a disciplined mind at the point of impact to turn issues over to God and be a thankful person. A complainer is unstable and a double minded person in all their ways. They are emotion led!
As a person who wants to grow in the Lord and have a passion about it, don’t be deceived about the difference of complaining and thankfulness.
Psalm 101:5, Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.
It is something to watch for in our life. You have to guard your mind and heart in this matter. What do I do when confronted with a chronic complainer? If it is just general selfishness, seek to change the conversation to a positive spiritual focus. If the person is being a busybody, slanderous, or injurious, the answer is, “This is not something we need to talk about.” Let them know that this is just not acceptable. You will soon find that the person will no longer complain to you but seek out others who they can complain to. You need to be careful about what you hear. It is just as bad to say it as it is to hear it.
Every Christian is responsible for what he hears and says. Proverbs 21:23, Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

1Peter 3:10, For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
Proverbs 23:12, Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.
Being a spirit controlled person is not being a complaining person. It is being a thankful person!

Ephesians 5:18-21, And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled (controlled) with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Folks, notice it says all things? That means good or bad. If a trial is in my life I need to ask God some questions. Lord is this trial here because of sin in my life? If so, show what is the sin? Then confess it and repent of it. If God says it is not in your life because of sin, then ask God what do you want me to learn here? Go to God’s Word to see the answer concerning the trial and read and meditate on the passages that speak about that subject. Most complainers do nothing but complain about their lot rather than spiritually deal with it. Most complaining starts in the mind. At the point of impact, when a negative thought comes to mind, I need to immediately turn this over to God. How do I do that, “Lord, I love you, what do you want me to praise you for and what do you want to thank you for?” It is a reboot to the mind to think on the right things and plug into the power of Jesus Christ in your life. It means to make the power of the Holy Spirt real in your life when you submit to Him at the point of impact.
Philippians 4:4-8, Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. (5) Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. (6) Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (7) And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (8) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Did you notice the underlined portions of Scripture? Thanksgiving, praise and right thinking. Try it, it will make a dramatic change in your life. Make Jesus Christ real in your life at the point of impact.
Galatians 5:16, 17, 22-26, This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, (be a spirit controlled person) and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh (be a complaining unthankful person). For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

The key to this is seeing unthankfulness and complaining as a grievous sin! (It grieves the Holy Spirit). If we find ourselves here we need to confess this sin to God and repent from it. IT IS SIN! Have you ever set down and wrote down how many things you are thankful for? It will give you a different perspective on life and God’s goodness to you! It will help you to focus your life in the right direction spiritually, learning and being thankful!