Why do you do Biblical counseling? This question has been asked of me a few times recently. So, I thought I would answer the question and it has a lot to do with my own testimony. As a young man who graduated from Bible College and went out into my first ministry I had not been there two weeks when a lady came in and said, “If you cannot give me a good reason in the next few minutes why I should not, I am going to kill myself.” Whoa! My first thought was they did not cover this in Bible College! After a quick prayer I tried my best to convince the lady it would not be a good thing to do. I felt totally inadequate for the task.
1 Peter 3:15, But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
I think we should be able to give a good Biblical answer. We cannot give a good Biblical answer if we do not know what the answer is! Because of the old nature many Christians have serious issues going on in their lives and they do not know Biblically what to do about it. I do not want to be unkind here. We counsel many pastors, missionaries and evangelists about their home, children and marriage. In fact, the two questions we get the most are: 1. How can I save this marriage? 2. What in the world can I do about this child? Many folks in Christian service are defeated, discouraged, fretting, angry, worried, depressed, confused, and distressed. Just like a good many people in the pew! They need help! We view Biblical Counseling as nothing more than “intense Biblical discipleship.” In a day of popular psychology we know and believe that God’s Word has the answer for every person’s life. We use the Bible for man’s needs not popular psychology. Our only desire is to help people to Biblically change their lives and to live a life honoring and pleasing to God without chaos and destruction. The goal of every Christian’s life should be to glorify God.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20, What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? (20) For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
As I looked for answers to help myself, I began to look at the Bible as a “help people” book. People have needs and they need a Biblical answer for their needs! Remember, we see Biblical counseling as nothing more than intense Biblical discipleship. Helping people to find answers for their life from God’s Word. We believe those answers are found in the King James Bible, God’s Word.
In the ministry of Hope Biblical Counseling Center, many people contact us on a weekly basis because of the spiritual needs of their lives. They are confused, defeated, discouraged, and in destruction mode in their life. That is sadly the spiritual life of this age.
This past Sunday I preached a message on, Why Most Christians Do Not Have The Comfort Of The Holy Spirit? You may listen to this most important message at www.hopebiblicalcounselingcenter.com
Why Do We Do Biblical Counseling?
1. Why do we do Biblical counseling? Because most Christians do not know how to have a real relationship with God.
It is our Biblical responsibility to show them how to do so. www.hopebiblicalcounselingcenter.com, How To Have a Real Relationship to God.
Let me start by giving a bit of my personal testimony regarding this. I got saved at the age of 19, just a few days short of my 20th birthday, and neither one of my parents were saved. I did not come from a Christian home. After I got saved, I began to attend an independent-fundamental Baptist church. I was on fire for God in the sense that I wanted to do something (very important statement you will understand later in the article). I began to run a bus route, and saw several children make professions of faith. I heard my pastor say, “Read your Bible through in a year.” So, I made an effort to read my Bible. As a young Christian I started in Genesis. I realize the Bible says “all scripture is profitable.” However, some Scriptures are more profitable than others. It was not the place for me as a young Christian to start reading and after a while I became spasmodic at it, but still made an effort. I tried to pray and turned in a long list every day to God. Did I get answers to prayer? Not really. After about a year, I was discouraged and defeated like most Christians are today. They play a part about being a joyful Christian, but in fact that is all they are doing just playing or acting out a part, not real!
Maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe I am not saved, I thought. I knew I had repented of my sin and asked Jesus into my heart. But still doubts lingered and I talked with my pastor several times. He was virtually no help except to say “read your Bible.” In fact, he was given too many doubts and fears as well in his life. Many of the families in our church lived worldly lives. Oh, they dressed properly, but were ungodly in many ways they lived. The young people did not exhibit godly lives. They were interested in fun and activities but not a real relationship with God. After a time of defeat, I stayed home from work one day. I wanted to pray about what the answer was. Later in the afternoon, Kim sent me to the grocery store. I was desperate and virtually cried out to God to help me. In this particular store, there was a small display of Christian books that spun around in a rack. I stopped to look at it. As I was looking at it, I noticed a book called “How to Study the Bible”. God said, “There is your answer.” I bought the book and devoured it. It gave me thoughts I had not considered about my relationship to God’s Word.
I realized I needed to make a change in my life. However, let me say here that many Christians read their Bible daily, but do not have a real, intimate, personal, passionate, relationship with God.
I decided that I was going to have a time with God daily. Near the plant I was working was a park. I had an hour for lunch. Kim fixed me a sandwich daily and I went to the park for lunch. I parked my car under a tree and while I was eating my lunch, I listened on the radio to a Bible teacher, who helped me immensely. He helped me to understand some things I did not know. After about 10 to 15 minutes, I would turn off the radio and begin to pray. I would ask God to show me if there was any sin that stood between Him and me that day. God, the Holy Spirit would speak to my spirit and show me my sin. I would confess that sin and turn from it. Then I would ask God to speak to me and give His message to me that day. As I would read, God would minister to my heart. Many times the Holy Spirit would stop me in my reading and show me a truth and speak to my heart about that truth. Many times, I would weep over that truth and thank God for showing it to me. God’s Word came alive for me. I would ask God what he wanted for me and what He wanted me to pray about. The relationship between God and I became intimate, personal, and passionate. I began to grow by leaps and bounds. I devoured my Bible. I looked up the meaning of the words and God continued to minister to me. In that car, under that tree the God of the universe changed my life. It started me toward the development of an intimate, personal, and passionate relationship with the Saviour. I look back on that time and the Lord was gracious in so many ways to me. Virtually, the Holy Spirit of God taught me and I am forever grateful. It energized my Christian life which up to then in the first year had been miserable.
As I have studied down through the years, I now want to share some very important truths with you about that relationship that I have learned about having been saved 40 years. I have been preaching and teaching the Bible for more than 35 years.
I had tried to read the Bible before, but failed to get much from it. Many of God’s people seek to read their Bible daily. It is important to understand that the Bible is not an information book – it is a book for transformation. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…, Romans 12:2. There it is folks, that word transformation. God wants your life to be transformed. He wants it to be changed, and to develop a real relationship with Him.
Let me ask you, how many times have you read a chapter in your Bible and then got down to the end and did not know what you had read? Many people will make the effort to read their Bible through in a year. They do not get much out of that. They sit in church half paying attention and they get some information about God. Folks, this is a huge spiritual danger to your children. Many of God’s people are giving their children a considerable amount of information about God. However, there is no development of a real relationship with God. This is the greatest tragedy that any Christian home can have.
I have known Christians who have memorized many passages of scripture and lived like the devil. I can hear someone say they must not be saved then. I do not think that is the answer. I know the answer is the real relationship with God is not there.
Here is the child who grows up in a Christian school, the family has family devotions, they have their children read the Bible daily, and yet there is this disaster when the child leaves the home. What happened here?
Do you realize that prior to getting saved, the devil, the adversary of your soul, sought to stop you from getting saved? However, once you did get saved, the devil now wants to derail your relationship with God. But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, II Peter 3:18. Growing means change. The word here for knowledge does not mean to have knowledge about God, but the knowledge is to be transforming. Dear friends, many people graduate (from Bible colleges, Christian schools, or home schools) with years of knowledge about God and live a wicked and vile life. Their knowledge is not transforming. The devil wants to stop you from having a real relationship with God and, folks, he is subtle and has done a marvelous job in derailing the lives of God’s people. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: I Peter 5:8. God is speaking to Christians here. Who does the devil devour? Those who do not have an intimate, personal, passionate relationship with the Saviour.
2. Why do we do Biblical counseling? Because most Christians do not understand the work of the Holy Spirit in their life.
We seek to teach them what it means to be filled (controlled) by the Spirit of God. Many times when the Christians are seeking to live a life of self-righteousness, (their own power) they eventually tire of keeping up the grueling self-work with very little joy. They have no answers and so they spiral down and quit. The destroyer is destroying their lives. So who is the devil looking to destroy? It is the one who does not have a real relationship with the Lord.
Galatians 5 explains this in detail. Galatians 5:16, This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. The answer is the Holy Spirit who indwells us wants us to be Spirit controlled. Our walk is our daily life. The promise is if we walk in the Spirit, we will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
So, the answer is to have a real relationship with God by walking in the Spirit.
I want you to notice in Galatians 5:19-21 that a person who is not walking in the Spirit will be involved in the lust of the flesh, Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness (unbridled lust), Idolatry, witchcraft (same word we get our word drugs from), hatred, variance (person who quarrels with everyone and everything), emulations (an attitude of deep rage, jealousy and envy), wrath, strife, seditions (division and dissension), heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revelings (orgies, carousing), and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Folks, if a person can continually and habitually do these things and is never convicted about them by the Holy Spirit, he or she is lost. However, there are people who are saved who do such things and are miserable as they are convicted by the Holy Spirit. The end result is the person is deceived. Galatians 6:7-8, Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsover a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. So, if I do not have a real relationship with God through the Spirit of God, I will have a disaster even though I go to church, read my Bible daily, pray, and memorize the Bible. The person who does these things without a real relationship with God is mocking God (means they treat God with contempt). Unfortunately, a number of people in church fall into this category. They sow to the flesh because of a lack of a relationship with God.
Notice Galatians 5:25, If we live in the Spirit (we are saved), let us also walk in the Spirit. Folks, we have to have a real relationship with the Spirit of God to control our walk. Otherwise the devil will control our soul and he will control our walk. God speaks to our spirit from the inside of us. The devil seeks to control our soul by putting outside pressure on us.
Our relationship with God is a matter of worship. The Holy Spirit of God speaking to our spirit. One of the great joys of my life is to daily have God speak to me through His Word. John 4:24, God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. My daily time with God is worship.
3. Why do we do Biblical counseling? Because most Christians live for their lusts.
We have to teach them Biblically how to not live for their lusts. Romans 6:11-19, Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. (12) Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. (13) Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. (14) For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. (15) What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. (16) Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? (17) But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. (18) Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. (19) I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.
James 4:1-10, From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? (2) Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. (3) Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. (4) Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. (5) Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? (6) But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. (7) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (8) Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. (9) Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. (10) Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
4. Why do we do Biblical counseling? Because we must teach them how to deal with their sin daily and moment by moment.
I have to deal with my sin daily. Remember – talk and listen, listen and talk. I learned at the park in the car several years ago to ask God if there was any sin that stood between me and Him that day. Lord, show it to me. He will. When He does, I need to confess the sin and turn from it, I John 1; 9. I am now free to communicate with God. You know, I found out how gracious and loving God is as He dealt with me through His Word in dealing with my sins. Sometimes it almost literally hurt to see how ugly my life was. The joy of sins forgiven and the degree to which God now opened His Word to me I thought was incredible.
5. Why do we do Biblical counseling? We must teach them how to have a daily time with God.
We have developed a program here at Hope Biblical Counseling Center several years ago called “How to Have a Daily Time With God”. The premise is to have a notebook called a “Daily Spiritual Diary”. Each day I use a page of the notebook, and write down 1. God’s Message to Me Today. 2. A Promise from God. 3. A Command to Keep. 4. A Timeless Principle (a principle that is good for all time in both Old and New Testament). 5. My Application. 6. Additional Comments. I recommend you have a spiral bound notebook for your “Daily Spiritual Diary”. Folks, the notebook does not lie as I put the date of each day right at the top. It is a record of my faithfulness in my relationship with the Saviour.
6. Why do we do Biblical counseling? We must teach them how to communicate with God through their Bible.
Each day I ask God to give me His message for me today. In essence, I want to hear from God for real. “Lord, show me what you have today for me from your Word. Please make it real to my life.” Folks, God does not bless Bible readers; He blesses Bible meditators, Psalm 1:1-6. Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish. As I am reading down through my Bible, when the Holy Spirit shows me a truth I stop! I read the verse over several times. I break down the verse. If I do not know what some words mean in the verse, I look them up. Listen carefully, the reason I stopped is because I have asked the Holy Spirit to give me His message for me today. God speaks to my heart (meditator) about this passage. Meditating is thinking about the passage. Psalm 119:11, Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. This verse is not about memorizing the Bible for knowledge purposes – it is about putting it in your heart (meditator). I am stopped to listen to God. It is time to stop (not talk), and listen and learn from the Master Teacher. I then write it down in my own words. I then proceed and the Holy Spirit stops me again for a promise, command, etc. I dissect the verse that the Holy Spirit has stopped me on. Psalm 19:14, Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. I have a page in my “Daily Spiritual Diary” where I write special thoughts from God and meditate on them. I want to have a real relationship with the God of the universe and I want Him to speak to me. I then write down under “My Application” what all this means to me and how I can apply it to my life. I write it down in my own words, sometimes as a prayer.
7. Why do we do Biblical counseling? Because we must teach them to pray properly.
Now we come to the prayer time. Remember a relationship is about talk and listen, listen and talk. As I come to prayer, I ask God to speak to my spirit today about what He wants me to pray about. “Lord what do you want me to pray about today?” This is very important. Remember I John 2:15-17 where the devil is seeking to control my life through outside pressure through the lust of the flesh (an overwhelming desire to do), lust of the eyes (an overwhelming desire to have), and the pride of life (an overwhelming desire to be). Listen carefully, after asking God what He wants me to pray about today, and praying about it as He speaks to me. I then ask God what He wants me to do today, what He wants me to have to day, and what He wants me to be today. Effectively, I have disarmed the devil’s approach by turning these three areas over to God. Folks, would it not be better to pray about what God wants you to do, have, and be? The people who come through our counseling program are always talking about what they want to do, what they want to have, and what they want to be. I know immediately they are being controlled by the devil’s influence on their soul and he is controlling their body and therefore controlling what they ultimately do.
There are three more things I want to ask God about. First of all – who does He want me to witness to today? Then I stop talking (be quiet) and listen to God. Remember a relationship is a two way street, talk and listen, listen and talk. After God tells me who to witness to today, I then ask him who He wants me to encourage today. When He brings up that person I pray for them and then maybe give them a call or write them a note. Thirdly, I ask God what I can praise Him for today. There are many passages of scripture that tell us to praise God. However, I want to know what He wants me to praise Him for. Why do I pray about whom to witness to today, encourage today, and to praise God for? Because I am focusing on others and not myself. When most Christians pray they have a list and they go down it and it is, “Lord give me this and I want that or let me be this.” It is a self-righteous way to pray and it is not accomplishing anything. It is the focus of the devil to get the Christian to love the world. I John 2:15, If any man love the world the love of the Father is not in Him. Does that mean he is lost? No, it means he does not have a real relationship with God. His love is somewhere else – toward the world. When you develop a real relationship with the Saviour, it will be a love relationship. Think about it, the God of the universe is speaking to me and I am listening to Him. I am talking to Him and He is listening to me. What will really effectively increase your faith will happen when you ask God what to pray about, and He tells you and you pray about it and it is answered. When was the last time you had a real answer to prayer? Are you self-righteously praying?
I used to play professional baseball as a pitcher. When I would stand on the mound I would look at the catcher and ignore the hitter. When I threw a 92 mile an hour fast ball by the hitter, I was focused on me and the catcher. In baseball terms it was called “he is in the zone.” Nothing else was focused on. I liken that to my relationship with God. It is personal (between me and God), intimate (it is a love relationship, very close to each other), and passionate (there is real desire there). Nothing motivates you more than to know that God will speak to you today and will hear you speak to Him. Talk and listen, listen and talk.
Without the intimate, personal, passionate relationship between God and me, I am doomed to disaster after disaster and failure in many parts of my life. It will always affect my wife and children. If I am living the Christian life in unrighteousness or self-righteousness (seeking to live the Christian life in my own power), I am doomed to a lot of pain and destruction in my life. The devil really does not care if I live the Christian life – either way it is fine with him.
8. Why do we do Biblical counseling? Because we must teach them to learn how to submit to God properly.
They must learn the submission principle. James 4:7, Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. The devil every day, multiple times a day, will put outside pressure on your life. He does this many times with our lusts. Romans 6:12-19, Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield (submit) ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield (submit) yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. Know ye not, that to whom ye yield (submit) yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded (submitted) your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield (submit) your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.
So, how do I submit? Every time a lust or outside pressure comes up, which I call the point of spiritual impact, “Lord, I want to turn this over to you. Forgive me for this thought or desire and I want to turn from it. I submit myself to you.” The essence of the submitted Christian life is to ask God questions. Remember James 4:7 says the devil is involved and the only way to walk in the Spirit is to have a submitted life with God. That is where our power comes from, being submitted moment by moment, at the point of spiritual impact. In the question asking with God, use the: who, what, when, where, how, and why method. Lord who do you want me to witness to today? Lord what do you want me to pray about today? Lord, what can I praise you for today? Questions are submission. Remember to stop, think, turn it over to God, and listen. Always ask God questions. So, how do I submit? I have to learn to submit and be controlled by the Holy Spirit at different times throughout the day at the point of spiritual impact. Every time a lust, evil thought, or outside pressure comes up, which I call the point of spiritual impact, “Lord, I want to turn this over to you. Forgive me for this thought or desire and I want to turn from it. I submit myself to you to be controlled and filled by the Holy Spirit.” In the book of Philippians it talks about “Rejoicing in the Lord always.” The only way to rejoice in the Lord always (moment by moment) is to be a Spirit controlled person by submitting at the point of impact.
Philippians 4:4-9, Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. (5) Let your moderation (self-control) be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand (in your life). (6) Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (7) And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (8) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (9) Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
I want you to notice in verse 6 the phrase “prayer and supplication.” Supplication means to ask for something humbly (submitted). Then I want you to notice in verse 6 thanksgiving. Then notice in verse 8 “praise.” So, at the point of impact rather than be anxious Lord I want to turn this over to you, I ask you to forgive me, I want to submit this to you and to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. Since most problems begin in the mind, Lord what do you want me to praise you for and thank you for? Then verse eight comes to play proper Spirit controlled thinking rather than let your mind worry, fret and think on the wrong things. It must become a daily moment by moment part of your life to be a Spirit controlled person.
The essence of the submitted Christian life is to ask God questions. Remember James 4:7 says the devil is involved and the only way to walk in the Spirit is to have a submitted life with God. That is where our power comes from, being submitted moment by moment, at the point of spiritual impact. In the question asking with God, use the: who, what, when, where, how, and why method. Lord who do you want me to witness to today? Lord what do you want me to pray about today? Lord, what can I praise you for today? Questions are submission. Remember to stop, think, turn it over to God, and listen. Always ask God questions.
The sadness of the hour in which we live is that many Christians do not have a real relationship with God. Folks, do not think that I have said memorization of scripture is not good. It is, but by itself will create a self-righteous life. If you memorize it, meditate on it. How does God speak to you through the verses? Also, you have to read your Bible to meditate, but you have to stop to study and listen to the Spirit of God when He wants to show you what He wants for you from God’s Word. Do not just keep on going because you have three or four chapters you must read today. You have to stop and listen! A real relationship requires we spend quality time together. Kim is my best friend. She is someone I can talk to and listen to. She is the love of my life. My relationship with the Lord is to be like that as well.
We have a booklet on our web site www.hopebiblicalcounselingcenter.com, “How to Have A Daily Time With God”. It will show you step by step how to have an intimate, personal, passionate relationship with the Saviour. Remember, my baseball story. While I was pitching, the infielders behind me would chatter to try to distract the hitter and disrupt their concentration. I was in the zone, just me and the catcher. After the pitch, I would hear an infielder say, “Way to go, hum baby!” When you have a real intimate personal, passionate relationship with the Lord, you are in the zone and humming. When the devil comes along with his outside pressure, you are focused on the Spirit of God speaking to your spirit, and your soul is then controlled by the Spirit of God and so is your body, thus you are Spirit controlled and walking in the Spirit.
When there is outside pressure from the devil, instead of responding to people with anger, meanness, harshness, or other responses, you are responding with the fruits of the spirit, Galatians 5:22-22, “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.”
9. Why do we do Biblical counseling? Because having a godly home depends on them learning how to have a real relationship with God.
Once I learned what it was to have a real relationship with God, as a father, I knew I had to teach it to my children. I wanted them to really know the Lord. I discussed it with them about what all this meant. I wanted them to know how to have a real relationship with God. Without a real relationship with God their lives will be a disaster when they leave my house. Many times I would ask my daughters when they were growing up, “What is God speaking to you about?” Their answers were always revealing to me. I did not just hope it would happen. I wanted them to taste of the Lord and see that He was good! We spent time talking about our relationship with God. I would ask them what God was speaking to them to pray about. We talked about it and as they got older they would come with real excitement to tell me what God was speaking to them about or what God had taught them. We would have that excitement and joy together.
I believe the principle of Ephesians 6:4 is very important here. And, ye Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: How would a father provoke his children to wrath? Could it be because he did not teach them to have a real relationship with the Lord? So they learn in their lives, when the outside pressure comes from Satan, how to respond by being controlled by their soul and respond in the dictates of the flesh. One of those is “wrath”, Galatians 5:19-21. The rest of Ephesians 6:4 says, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It means training with structure. I say again folks, how can a parent get the heart of their child and train them to have a relationship with the Lord if they are living a self-righteous (living the Christian life in their own power) or unrighteous life? It is not going to happen and the end result for the child’s life is the works of the flesh list of Galatians 5:19-21. (Read that list over and meditate on it. Are you or your children in that list?). The kind of life the self-righteous Christian lives is a real grind. It is over and over the same thing – keeping the rules, but not experiencing the power of a real relationship with God. The Christian who lives that way takes on the 19 characteristics (from II Timothy 3:1-5) of the apostate age in which we live. How does it end? “Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof:” What a miserable life and a destructive life! It does not have to be that way. We can have victory through the power of the Spirit of God who indwells us and wants us to have a real relationship with Him.
If you do not know what to do and need help because you are caught in the sins of the flesh because of outside pressure from the devil, feel free to contact us. May God help you today to seek to have a real relationship with Him.