Thank you for reading today. Our greatest desire is that you would be encouraged in the Lord! In my daily time with God in His Word today, the Holy Spirit spoke to me about dealing with childish behavior in our lives. This has been a subject in our Biblical Counseling program that we find is an issue for those who come for Biblical Counseling. Right now it is a difficult time for many around the world because of COVID-19. Lives lost, jobs lost, fear, distrust, despair, discouragement and not knowing what the future holds. People are under a lot of pressure.
I recently retired from the pastoral ministry after 41 years. Right after that COVID-19 virus came on the scene. My life has been nothing but busy since “retiring”. We are doing a lot of Biblical Counseling right now, and seeing some people changing their lives to the honor and glory of God. As I said earlier a lot of people are under pressure right now especially in their marriages. Our desire is to be an encouragement and help to those who need help. I have often told people that as a Biblical Counselor, I am picking up where Dad and Mom left off. That is, the number one thing that I did as a Pastor, and do as a Biblical Counselor, and Marriage Speaker is to try to help people to move people out of a feelings dominated controlled life and into a controlled by the Holy Spirit, Biblical principled driven life. In essence, I am teaching them what they failed to learn as a child.
Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Did you notice the word train? The most important thing for a parent to do is to see their child come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. The next thing is to understand they as a parent are to be a trainer. You are to be a trainer of your children to not live a feelings dominated life but a Biblical principled life. However, you must not be living a feelings dominated life yourself or your training will spiritually fail. Most parents try to teach from an emotion-led life which does not work. The child goes into adulthood still being an emotion-led child.
Romans 6:11-13 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
Adults Are Led by Biblical Principles Not Feelings
Children are motivated by feelings. That is their primary rule of law. That being said, a person has never really entered adulthood if they have not learned to follow Biblical principles in spite of where their feelings are leading them. A Christian must learn what it means to be controlled by the Holy Spirit at the point of impact.
Unfortunately, a good number of married couples are little people in big people’s bodies. Though they have secured a decent education and established a nice career, they stopped growing emotionally a long time ago or never learned how to grow emotionally to begin with. When they feel angry, they act angry. If they feel like pouting, negative behavior ensues. They say whatever comes to their mind and show their spiritual and emotional immaturity. This is nothing less than childish behavior, and, sad to say, it is what keeps me busy as a marriage counselor. Childish behavior sadly is nothing more that carnal (selfish behavior).
I have found that until someone learns to say yes to Biblical principles and no to their childish emotions, they will never learn how to properly deal with their marital issues. They will be up one day and down the next, and they will take their marriage on a perpetual roller coaster ride.
Our goal for every counselee is spiritual and emotional maturity by learning how to apply Biblical principles to their life and to stop, think, and turn over to the Lord at the point of spiritual impact issues in their lives. This is the point where Satan puts outside pressure on your life to try to get you to react like a child with childish behavior. Satan seeks to control the Christian’s life by placing outside pressure on them to control their soul which is the seat of their mind, emotions, and will. He will then control their decision making. They will react in their emotion led life rather than to submit themselves to God and make Jesus Christ real in their life at the point of impact.
James 4:7, Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
This is our goal to teach as a counselor. They are in my office because they are immature emotionally and spiritually. Their childish behavior has put them there.
Another tool that is very effective that I have used with couples who say, “I do not love her or him anymore”: I have often encouraged men and women in a troubled marriage to ask themselves the question, “If I really felt love for my spouse today, what would I think about doing for them?” Then, I advise them to go and do according to their answer. To be honest, it is a very powerful step for spouses to take, and there is a sense where it must be done in faith that their feelings will eventually agree with not only their actions, but Biblical precepts.
I Corinthians 13:4-5, Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Love Is Kind
Did you notice “love is kind?” Most people who respond when I ask the above question say, “I would probably be more kind.” Next question – how specifically would you do that? When they give you the answer, encourage them to do it as an assignment.
Ephesians 4:32, And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Remember, be the vessel God can use today by asking the Holy Spirit to show you if you are living your life not dealing with your sin (lusts)? Are you living in the sin of allowing selfish carnal thinking or listening to rule your life and making you react or rationalize your sin? Maybe you are afraid because you do not know how to change. That can be fixed!
Be all you can be for Him today and have a powerful testimony of living a Spirit controlled yielded godly life that is serving and living with humility, joy and peace! We encourage you today to make Jesus Christ real in your life by humbly yielding to Him at the point of impact and living for Him, not the life of selfish carnal thinking and speaking. It is an important choice! Tell God you want to yield yourself to Him today and be a trusting, useful, and rewarded servant! Be the person who wants to change! Be the person who can help others change! Do not be the person who talks the talk but does not walk the walk!
We pray for many of you daily! May we all humble ourselves before God and focus on having compassion on others! Let’s seek real Biblical change. May we all have the desire to make real Biblical long term change to the honor and glory of God!