Thank you for reading today. Our greatest desire is that you would be encouraged in the Lord! In my daily time with God in His Word today, the Holy Spirit spoke to me about what do you do when you are disappointed by people? Our desire is to be an encouragement and help to those who need help. The number one thing that I do as a Biblical Counselor and marriage speaker is to try to help people to move out of a feelings dominated, emotion controlled life and into a controlled by the Holy Spirit, Biblical principled driven life.
I have found there are two things in the Bible that can be a great hindrance to your life if you allow it. You can be hurt and disappointed by circumstances or people. Many times down through the years in our Biblical Counseling program I have listened to the hurts and disappointments of people by other people. If you have been in the ministry any length of time you know the disappointments of people. You know your own disappointments and hurts for you and your wife.
Getting hurt by people can be one of the most awful things that can happen in a person’s life. Many people are on the wayside today because of this and their life is spinning out of control. Others are being harmed by their bitterness.
How You React is Important
When hurt and disappointed by people it is a spiritual impact moment. You have the opportunity to react or act. This moment is extremely important. Satan desires to use people negatively in your life. How you respond at that moment and later in moments as you think about what happened will be important. Psalm 37 gives us the answer. You can respond two ways, in the flesh cycle or the Spirit controlled cycle.
Psalms 37:1-10, A Psalm of David. Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. (2) For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. (3) Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. (4) Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (5) Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. (6) And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. (7) Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. (8) Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. (9) For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth. (10) For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.
The flesh cycle is in verses 1 and 8. It is the fret, envy, anger, wrath, and evil cycle. Someone does or says something and you start to fret about it. You think about it. It starts controlling your thoughts. Envy takes place where you think, how can they do this to me, I should not be treated this way, which leads to anger. Then wrath which is anger with a strong desire to avenge. Then you plot to do evil to get back at them. Have you ever done that? I am sure you have because this is the way people respond in the flesh. This is the way Satan wants us to react. We out of fellowship with God at this point.
A Person Out of Fellowship with God Is Capable of Anything
A person who is out of fellowship with God is capable of all the things in Galatians 5:19-21.
Galatians 5:19-21, Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (20) Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, (21) Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
That is an ugly looking bunch of things here. If a person can continually and habitually do the things in these verses without being convicted by the Holy Spirit, then they are not saved. However, people out of fellowship with God are certainly capable of these things. Rebellious people are capable of these things and worse. When a person acts in the manner above they can do horrible hurt to others.
What to Do?
You have to learn to trust God by faith and be a Spirit controlled person at the point of impact. Just like you trusted God for your salvation, you must trust God for this ungodly behavior as well. At the point of impact immediately stop, think, and verbally turn it over to God. Why? Because if you react in the flesh you will be out of fellowship with God and your life will spiral down.
My best friend always says, “I am not going to put my head down that hole in the ground!” The only thing you see when you put your head in that hole is darkness. You have to take control of your dark side rather than let it control you.
Have you ever not been able to go to sleep at night because you had your head down the dark hole? You are thinking about what that person did! You are going through the flesh cycle. You then are pretty angry. “I do not deserve this!” Probably not, but if you are not careful, you will be acting worse than they are. God knows what happened and He wants you to trust Him. Be His person in this rather than be controlled by Satan.
I can hear it now, “But Pastor, you don’t understand what they did.” Yes, I do!
Each Time It Comes Up Turn It Over to God-Be a Spirit Controlled Person
Why? So you can live your life in the power of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit cycle is trust, delight, commit, rest, and wait patiently.
Psalm 37:3-7, Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. (4) Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (5) Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. (6) And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. (7) Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
“Lord, show me if there is any sin in my heart about this situation.” If so, confess it to God. Repent of it. “Lord, I want you to fill me and control me by your Spirit in this matter.” Then in your mind each time it comes up, verbally turn it over to God, and ask God, “What do you want me to praise you and thank you for.” Take control of your mind at the point of spiritual impact. Let God deal with this person. He will do a lot better job than you will.
By using the Spirit cycle you can trust in the Lord! You can delight yourself in the Lord! You can commit your way unto the Lord! (Notice, your way, not the other person’s way). Trust Him and He will take care of it. Then you can rest and wait PATIENTLY for Him!
Disappointment, Discouragement, and Hurt Can be Debilitating if We Do Not Deal With it God’s Way
Yes, I know how you feel. But we cannot be emotion controlled here, we have to be Spirit controlled. Make your faith real, rather than live a defeated life by hurt and disappointment. Remember, when God deals with it, it will increase your faith to trust Him more!
Remember, be the vessel God can use today by asking the Holy Spirit to show you if you are living your life not dealing with your sin (lusts). Are you living in the sin of allowing selfish carnal thinking or listening to rule your life and making you react or rationalize your sin? Maybe you have found yourself in today’s article by negatively responding to hurt and disappointment rather than being a Spirit controlled person. Realize this is not honoring and pleasing to God. It will end up in destructive hurt. God will help us if we submit to Him. Don’t quit in the middle of a hurt or disappointment, but refocus to see exactly what God wants you to learn.
Be all you can be for Him today and have a powerful testimony of living a Spirit controlled yielded godly life that is serving and living with humility, joy and peace! We encourage you today to make Jesus Christ real in your life by humbly yielding to Him at the point of impact and living for Him, not the life of selfish, carnal thinking and speaking. It is an important choice! Tell God you want to yield yourself to Him today and be a trusting, useful, and rewarded servant! Be the person who wants to change! Be the person who can help others change! Do not be the person who always needs to be helped, but the person who can help!
We pray for many of you daily! May we all humble ourselves before God and focus on having compassion on others! Let’s seek real Biblical change. May we all have the desire to make real Biblical long-term change to the honor and glory of God!