Thank you for reading today. Our greatest desire is that you would be encouraged in the Lord! In my daily time with God in His Word today, the Holy Spirit spoke to me about friends. Our desire is to be an encouragement and help to those who need help. The number one thing that I do as a Biblical Counselor and marriage speaker is to try to help people to move out of a feelings dominated, emotion controlled life and into a controlled by the Holy Spirit, Biblical principled driven life.

How Do You View Your Friends?

One of the most hurtful things in the world is when a good friend does something to hurt you. One of the most wonderful things in this world is to have a faithful and true friend. Do you have a person in your life who is a faithful and true friend? Have you had a friend in the past who has turned upon you and was deceitful and seeking to hurt and destroy you? I am getting close to being a Christian for 50 years. I am now entering my 42nd year of ministry. Over the last 42 years I have seen both of the scenarios I described above take place. I have seen people crushed by a friendship going in the wrong direction. I have also seen people step up in a sacrificial way when others need help. So, how do you view your friends? Are there those around you that you can trust? Are there those around you who say they are your friends, but they have burned you in the past and you know you cannot trust them?

What should a friend not do?

Be careful not to gossip with your friends. Because of our old nature if we choose not to be a Spirit controlled person we can easily fellowship in each other’s sins by gossiping. The church of Jesus Christ is full of this today. Many lives have been hurt and destroyed because of it. Many people gossip to rationalize their own sins.

What is gossip?

A person who gossips is at heart a rebellious person. Behind a rebellious person is always a pride issue. Proverbs 14:3, In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.

Proverbs 16:18, Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

In every church you find someone or several someone(s) who do injury to others by gossip.

Gossip is TALEBEARING (Lev. 19:16; Prov. 11:13; 18:8; 20:19; 26:20-22) and BACKBITING, which is talking to others about the intimate details of people’s lives for injurious purposes. Psalm 15:3, He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour. Galatians 5:15, But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.

Gossip is SLANDER (Num. 14:36, 37; 2 Sam. 19:27; Prov. 10:18; Jer. 9:4-6; Rom. 3:8), which is stating things about people that are false with the intent to harm them. For something to be slanderous, it must involve deceit and falsehood and an injurious motive. As an example, to tell someone that a certain person is divorced is not gossip if indeed that information is true, but to say that a certain person is divorced when it is not true is gossip. To spread rumors about someone in an attempt to hurt that person is wicked gossip. We must be extremely careful about passing along things that we hear. If there is any question whatsoever about the truthfulness of something, it is essential to verify it from someone who is in a position to know the matter. Proverbs 18:13, He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

Gossip is being a BUSYBODY, which is meddling into the affairs of others when I have no legitimate reason to be involved

Ephesians 4:29-31, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.  (30)  And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.  (31)  Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

What part of “no” here do we not understand?

Several years ago, a friend of mine heard from a friend of his that I had done and was encouraging a certain thing. This friend of mine then talked with one of my church members and said I should not be doing that. I called this friend who talked with my church member and let him know I was not doing that and virtually had no knowledge of this situation. I then called the person who had told him that as well. Gossip is a destructive force. My thought was when my church member who was told this by this person who was my friend, rather than share it with a church member of mine, why not do what the Scripture says? Why not call me and ask me directly? If someone shares something with you about another, do not violate Proverbs 18:13. Notice what it says:

Proverbs 18:13, He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.

In essence, before you say something you should make sure you have heard both sides of an issue and most of the time you will find this should not be repeated. Remember there are always two sides to an issue. You cannot give wise counsel if you have not heard both sides of an issue.

What a Friend Should Do

Be honest with your friends. Not hateful, but kind. Love your friends unselfishly.

John 15:12-14, This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.  (13)  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.  (14)  Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

Be an Edifier

Be the person who prays about how you can encourage your friend. So many people fellowship in sin rather than being an edifier. Carnal people do that. Spirit controlled people desire to encourage their friend spiritually, build them up.

1 Thessalonians 5:11, Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

Ephesians 4:16, From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

If you have had a friendship go south,I know today your life can be hard. You can be very hurt with others’ decisions in your life and your own decisions. We encourage you in changing your life to be a friend who is focused properly. There is hope for you and God wants you to have it! He is the God of hope! He is the God of good changes.

Remember, be the vessel God can use today by asking the Holy Spirit to show you if you are living your life not dealing with your sin (lusts). Are you living in the sin of allowing selfish carnal thinking or listening to rule your life and making you react or rationalize your sin? Maybe you have found yourself in today’s article by fellowshipping in sin with another by gossip. Realize this is not honoring and pleasing to God. It will end up in destructive hurt. God will help us if we submit to Him. Don’t quit in the middle of a hurt, but refocus to see exactly what God wants you to learn.

Be all you can be for Him today and have a powerful testimony of living a Spirit controlled yielded godly life that is serving and living with humility, joy and peace! We encourage you today to make Jesus Christ real in your life by humbly yielding to Him at the point of impact and living for Him, not the life of selfish, carnal thinking and speaking. It is an important choice! Tell God you want to yield yourself to Him today and be a trusting, useful, and rewarded servant! Be the person who wants to change! Be the person who can help others change! Do not be the person who always needs to be helped, but the person who can help!

We pray for many of you daily! May we all humble ourselves before God and focus on having compassion on others! Let’s seek real Biblical change. May we all have the desire to make real Biblical long-term change to the honor and glory of God!

Some items in this article come from the ministry of Way of Life