Thank you for reading today. Our greatest desire is that you would be encouraged in the Lord! In my daily time with God in His Word today, the Holy Spirit spoke to me about personal responsibility. Our desire is to be an encouragement and help to those who need help. The number one thing that I do as a Biblical Counselor and marriage speaker is to try to help people to move out of a feelings dominated, emotion controlled life and into a controlled by the Holy Spirit, Biblical principled driven life.

One of the biggest problems today in marriages, home, work place, and church is when you have to deal with irresponsible people. You know, the person who says they will do the job, but never shows up or never does the job. The person who makes promises but never keeps them. They consistently have an excuse for why they did not accomplish the task. This person because of their irresponsibility creates chaos for everyone else. Total frustration! Below are some Biblical principles to help us and to be aware of in this situation.

Years ago in one of our churches a woman came and said to my wife and me, “I have time off from work and the Lord told me I should ask you about doing something around the church.” I asked her if she liked to paint. She said yes and she would love to paint! I thought great, let’s see how she does and maybe we have someone who can handle some small projects for us. We gave her a couple of outside doors to the church to paint. Just regular size doors. We bought paint and brushes for her and gave them to her. “I will get right on it,” she said. A month goes by and nothing was done. I ask her how she was coming on the doors. “Have them done soon!” Another month, same thing. After the third month of the same answer I decided not to ask again. She never painted the doors and never gave back the paint and brushes! I have learned that irresponsible people are totally non-dependable. You cannot trust them to do what they say they will do!

Everybody has made some type of poor decision in their lives. However, when this becomes a normal pattern in their lives, chaos rules and reigns. I ask people in Biblical Counseling, “What is the dumbest thing you have ever done?” Well, do you have the answer? Or maybe a series of answers? Make you feel uncomfortable? As a Christian each of us has to take personal spiritual responsibility for our actions, reactions, demeanor, and our decisions. The Bible tells us this is a spiritual maturity issue. Are you a responsible person or is your life filled with chaos? Most people when they are led by their emotions, get upset easily, exaggerate small items, maximize instead of minimize issues, criticize, nitpick, and create their own chaos. Chaos comes into our lives because of our sin, sometimes because of pride, and sometimes because of disappointments, discouragements, and just poor dumb decisions!

Don’t let disappointments, jealousies, envying, etc., overcome you so you make poor, selfish non-spiritual decisions. Many times people make poor decisions in the area of responsibility when they are disappointed; then all the bars come down off the windows and we only think about ourselves. We are on the skid heading down when that happens. Many marriages are just chaos because of this, but every person who reverts back to their old nature to handle these things will have a real mind and decision battle here.

Hebrews 2:1, Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.

This is the time we need to pay more attention to our spiritual life rather than less attention! 

In times of disappointment and discouragement, for whatever reason, we need to be very careful about our personal decisions.

 Why? Because in these times we get emotional and lazy in the flesh (which is easy to do) and our responsibility and decision making suffers. We let things slip! In times of disappointment and discouragement we let things slip and we have more chaos, and we are very much less spiritually minded when we are not controlled by the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 5:18, And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled (controlled) with the Spirit;

Galatians 6:7-8, Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.  (8) For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

A person who allows this, (Did you see that? allows it) is deceived, Galatians 6:7.

I wrote in my Bible years ago, be careful what you think about and what you choose (decisions), when you lose. This is the time of poor decisions and we lose all sense of personal responsibility.

Taking Spiritual Responsibility

1. Make sure you pray about everything before you do it! This cannot be a mechanical prayer. Stop, think, and be willing to listen to God. Let your spirit calm down. Don’t make foolish decisions without praying in a right spirit! Don’t make a decision ever without praying about it!

2. Don’t go into the “woe is me” attitude! This is just not fair! Why did God let this happen? By the way, that is sin! Why is God not answering my prayer or why is God not giving me what I want? Well, probably because it is a lust issue and you are not content with what God has given you.

James 4:3, Ye ask and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

Philippians 4:11, Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Discontented people are not controlled by the Holy Spirit and their thinking is flawed and they make poor decisions. They are unthankful people and not thankful for what God has really given them.

Psalm 100:4, Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

3. When in times of emotions like disappointment, or you lose something you really wanted, don’t get what you want, or are jealous or envious about someone or something, stop, ask for God’s forgiveness, repent from this sin (emotion led). Ask God to control your mind and start writing down what you are thankful for. Ask God to show you something you can be thankful for.

I Thessalonians 5:18-19, (18) In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (19)  Quench not the Spirit.

Hebrews 13:15, By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.

Colossians 3:15, And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; AND BE THANKFUL! Yes, that is what it says.

Isaiah 26:3,Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace , whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

In times of disappointment remember stop thinking emotionally. Think about what God has done for you in the past.

4. Turn your wants and desires over to God and don’t allow Satan to get a foothold into your contentment, or your life will always be raw emotion after emotion and more and more disappointment and chaos. You will have to understand being disappointed, jealous, envious, discontented are sins of the spirit. God wants each person to grow up and be a spiritually mature person especially at the time of disappointment, defeat, or your sense of your personal responsibility will slide. This is the time to make God real in your life.

Hebrews 2:1, Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.

If not, you will be negative, fault finding, and not have the right spirit in what you are doing and will make poor chaotic decisions.

Every believer must be on guard for this. Yeah, I know, growing up is hard to do! But we cannot make excuses for our poor behavior or our lack of personal responsibility. No one ever becomes a spiritually responsible person if they do not have a real, intimate, personal, and passionate relationship with God through His Word! If you do not know what this means we invite you to read our booklet, How to Have a Real Relationship With God-The Work of the Holy Spirit in a Person’s Life.

It never ceases to amaze me the decisions people make or the chaos that ensues by not following the above principles. Many lives get in major messes because they just don’t make good decisions and take personal responsibility. Chaos rules and reigns in their lives. Immaturity rules and reigns!

Of course, as people contact us at Hope Biblical Counseling Center, I get to hear about chaos every day! Messy, ugly stuff! Marital chaos, financial chaos, relationship chaos, anger chaos, which is caused by responsibility chaos. When you ask the person about their decision making and personal responsibility their excuses get creative and they rationalize their decisions and behavior. They always have an excuse. It seems a person who does not follow the principles above always ends up in chaos. Their mess always affects others and many times pulls other people into their mess.

Making right choices at the time of disappointment, not allowing jealousy, envy, pride, etc., to rule in your life are areas that every believer needs to work at. So, the question is today, are you a spiritually responsible person? Spiritual people are responsible people in the control of their mind first, then they can be responsible people in their decisions and actions and reactions.

Irresponsible people live for their lusts and are unwilling to change.

Romans 6:11-19, Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.  (12)  Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.  (13)  Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.  (14)  For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.  (15)  What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.  (16)  Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?  (17)  But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you.  (18)  Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.  (19)  I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.

They are undependable. Chaos always follows them!

James 1:7-8, For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.  (8)  A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

The person who has a servant’s heart always takes their responsibilities seriously. It is a sign of where they are spiritually and what is important in their life. In the past I have spoken about Putting Human Relationships Above Our Relationship With God. I talked about the life of David; he did not take personal responsibility in his family, compromised with the sins of his children, his life was a major mess, and so was his family, which created a mess for the whole country of Israel.

Each parent must take spiritual personal responsibility in spiritually rearing their children. Each husband and wife must take personal spiritual responsibility in their marriage. Every person needs to take spiritual personal responsibility in their finances and in their giving to God. Learn to take personal spiritual responsibility for your life and you will be a blessing to others instead of a hindrance to others. You will also keep chaos out of your life.

Philippians 2:5, Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus!

Remember, be the vessel God can use today by asking the Holy Spirit to show you if you are living your life not dealing with your sin (lusts). Are you living in the sin of allowing selfish carnal thinking or listening to rule your life and making you react or rationalize your sin? Maybe you have found yourself in today’s article by negatively focusing all the time, and not focusing on taking spiritual responsibility and being a Spirit controlled person. Realize this is not honoring and pleasing to God. It will end up in destruction and emotional distress in your life. God will help us if we submit to Him. Don’t quit in the middle of a circumstance or disappointment, but refocus to see exactly what God wants you to learn.

Be all you can be for Him today and have a powerful testimony of living a Spirit controlled yielded godly life that is serving and living with humility, joy and peace! We encourage you today to make Jesus Christ real in your life by humbly yielding to Him at the point of impact and living for Him, not the life of selfish, carnal thinking and speaking. It is an important choice! Tell God you want to yield yourself to Him today and be a trusting, useful, and rewarded servant! Be the person who wants to change! Be the person who can help others change! Do not be the person who always needs to be helped, but the person who can help!

We pray for many of you daily! May we all humble ourselves before God and focus on having compassion on others! Let’s seek real Biblical change. May we all have the desire to make real Biblical long-term change to the honor and glory of God!